I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
