Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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