You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
