people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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