What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize