She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
