If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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