I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
