He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
