I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
