morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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