Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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