He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
