he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
