i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize