we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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