Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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