I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize