honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
