She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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