Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
