We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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