Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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