I am in a vortex of obligation.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
