She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
