why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
