awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
