Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
