Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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