My nipple is on Facebook.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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