What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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