she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
