i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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