You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
