Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
