brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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