I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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