cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
