I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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