Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
