Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
