you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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