I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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