Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
