I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
