i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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