I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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