An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
