i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
