you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
