Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
