soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
