so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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