I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
