Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
