were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You can't just leave with hair like that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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