I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize