btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize