my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
