I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
